October 2011
40 posts
3 tags
Poem #17
Owlface owlface
Your head is an owlface
Owlface
Also you are green and you live in the toilet
3 tags
3 tags
5 tags
1 tag
An Expensive Conduit of Cinnamon Toast: An Open... →
oldfashioneddoughnut:
wildershaw:
Dear every hot girl in the world,
Hello there. I wanted to take the time to address you on behalf of myself, and the common nice, non-rapey, non-threatening, non-giant-sunglasses-and-spikey-haired, non-truck-driving, non-sexist,…
An Open Letter to That Average-Looking, Nice Guy.
Dear average-looking, nice guy,
In response to your letter, I wanted to...
8 tags
An Open Letter to Every Hot Girl in the World
Dear every hot girl in the world,
Hello there. I wanted to take the time to address you on behalf of myself, and the common nice, non-rapey, non-threatening, non-giant-sunglasses-and-spikey-haired, non-truck-driving, non-sexist, non-listen-to-hip-hop-to-sound-cool-even-though-I-don’t-actually-like-it, non-beer-pong-obsessed, non-frat-bro, non-roofie-giving,...
3 tags
Poem #16
When I was young
I saw The Land Before Time
And I said,
“I hope they make 12 direct-to-video sequels”
3 tags
Poem #15
Starbucks,
You are bullshit, Starbucks.
When I say, “Small”
And you repeat back to me, “Tall”
And I say, “No, small”
And you say, “Small is tall”
And I say, “No, by definition, it is not”
And you say, “We say small”
And I say, “You say things incorrectly”
And you say, “Just tell me what you’d...
3 tags
Poem #14
Stupid Jill said, in the high pitched Cockney accent we all know,
“Write me a poem”
I said, “No”
Except
EFF
I wrote her a poem
3 tags
Poem the Thirteenth
And the Lord said unto Jason Bateman,
“Thou shalt enjoy corn”
“Thou shalt enjoy corn and one day ask unto Wilder Shaw if he does as well”
He said unto him,
“Thou shalt never have neat hair”
And the lord spake unto Jason Bateman,
“Thou shalt be confused by people with John Michael Higgins”
Jason Bateman said unto the Lord,
“Aight”
...
3 tags
Poem #12
Logistically,
a human being made of baked potatoes would never work.
3 tags
Poem #11
When the earth done quaketh
The beans do shaketh
Earth beans
Laser beams
Earth beams
Laserface
Animals are wonderful mammals
5 tags
3 tags
Poem #10
Poetry is like
Whaaaaaaat
Like first you go like
This
ANDTHENYOUCANBEALLLIKEWHAAAAAAT
And then you can just say whatever
The shittiness of Breaking Bad is directly proportionate to the goodness of the “music” of Lil Wayne
Which is to say
Lil Wayne is stoops and Breaking Bad is fucking awesome
or like
Bryan Cranston’s mustache’s awesomeness is directly...
3 tags
Poem #9
Jalapeño cornbread
Had it at this one diner in
Santa Clause (Cruz)
Mannnnnn
What if Santa Clause lived in Santa Cruz?
Shit wud b legit
3 tags
Poem #8
IN-N-OUT
MOTHERFUCKING IN-N-OUT
3 tags
Poem #7
Stop playin’ ukuleles in public
Like
We get it
You have a ukulele
I have one
And I don’t play it in public
Hey guy
YOU ARE A BAG OF NARDS
3 tags
Poem #6
Baby Peach
Are you kidding me with Baby Peach?
GET OUT
Baby Peach
Just get out of the race
BABY ASS PEACH
3 tags
Poem #5
Raspberry Snapple
Is like
Soooooo good
Like
OMFG
3 tags
Poem #4
Straw
Damn you straw
Get in my mouth straw
Straw
3 tags
Poem #3
I am a human man
Steaks and portobello tastes like
FOOD
I love cornbread
Eating rocks!
Mama cooks up a storm!
thegreenbullet asked: HI I LUB YOO
3 tags
Poem #2
Poetry is like
Crazy
Ya know?
?!?
Writin’ words
Do it all day
Cornbread is good
Poetry, bitch
3 tags
Poem #1
Poems are easy
Write words
Break
up the
flow
to create
Tension
End with the first line
Poems are easy
6 tags
10 tags
4 tags
5 tags
4 tags
4 tags
1 tag
5 tags
Let Me In
Just watched Let Me In. I thought it was fantastic, and this is coming from someone who is beyond sick of things about vampires. It reminded me of a reverse Twilight, if Twilight was good.
An alternate title I’d suggest, however, is I’m Michael Giacchino and I’m the Best Composer Ever, So Shut Your Goddamn Mouth and Hire Me For Everything Forever.
Let Me In is streaming...
7 tags
